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At 47, Derkson has no kids, and has never been married — nor is she desperate to get hitched. People are cold.” While living in Florida a few years ago, she was turning men away.“I think the Latin culture in Florida really helps; people are warm, men smile at you on the street. Men here, they don’t even turn their head to look at you.”Back in Vancouver, she just wishes that when she smiles at someone on the street, they would smile back.
She’d be happy with just a little more warmth and sensuality. Rachel Fox, a 34-year-old writer, says her experiences of meeting men in other cities, like New York, where she used to live, are incredibly different than in Vancouver: “The pool is a lot bigger there.
I was dating every night.” Fox has an endearing, girl-next-door vibe: Zooey Deschanel with a healthy scoop of irreverent wench. “We are ghettoized, we don’t intermingle and the landscape isn’t conducive to community.”Sara Stocksand, 38 years old and single for a few years, isn’t afraid to say she wants the whole package, including marriage and children.
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Guys have a hard time, too Ron Lee, 36, a marketer who ran a dating coaching service for many years in Vancouver, agrees that it’s tough to make a connection in this city.
“Vancouver is the hardest city to date in in North America. In Edmonton, Toronto, Calgary there is a much higher chance that people will come out just to meet you for a coffee, just for the social aspect.
The conversation about the impossibility of finding man-love in Lotus Land ricochets between raucous laughter and thoughtful reflection until the table goes silent and the subject finally sinks, like a stone thrown in an impossibly dark wishing well.“This is not a lighthearted issue,” says Jodi Derkson.
“There is a serious problem here.”PHOTOS: MORE SINGLES LOOKING FOR LOVEThis is Vancouver, the women explain, in conversational shorthand that speaks volumes about the city’s widely-perceived shortcomings for straight daters.
Is it the way the city is spread out and shuts down early, its denizens more likely to rise at dawn to pound up the North Shore mountains on their bikes before work than lie in and roll over for a little good morning sex? Is it seasonal affective disorder, a collective low libido?
“There is a lack of sexuality in Vancouver,” says Derkson, bluntly.
“This is typical of a woman’s online profile: here’s a picture of me on top of a mountain, here’s one of me winning an award, here’s me in Vegas.
It’s like, wow, don’t you ever sit on a patio and have a beer or hang out and cook a meal?
It’s not realistic to expect instant gratification leading to lifelong fulfilment from everybody you meet.”He is also totally comfortable dating across all ethnicities.
Quinlan, who has recently found a girlfriend, has a few quirks, like reciting the lyrics to ‘90s gangsta rap songs, but he doesn’t put it all out there on a first date.
Throw in the French accent and the wry sense of humour, and Lessard just might be the total package.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating