Said goodbye to dating

Harris articulates his theory of dating and courtship in three resources: the initial article for , “Dating Problems, Courtship Solutions,” “I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance,” and the sequel, “Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship.” Harris insists his books are not a formula for the perfect relationship, but this claim amounts to empty hedging against the charge of legalism.Harris’s writings provides a robust framework for why dating is the problem and courtship the solution.It would be easy to dismiss Harris’s fretting as merely advice that preteens, teenagers, or immature people should avoid dating until they mature.

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One family wrote guidelines for their daughter’s courtship, and held the couple accountable to them.

Another father saw his daughter’s waning interest in a man, and told his daughter’s suitor that he needed to show more affection.

He touches briefly on friendship, only because it is the prelude to courtship.

The basis of friendship is “mutual interest” and a desire to enjoy those commonalities together.

In contrast to friendship, courting couples spend time together for a “purpose beyond mere recreation.” While there are some one-on-one conversations (such as confessing past sexual sins), the church community and each other’s families guide and oversee the relationship.

A couple left to themselves becomes blinded by feelings.

Harris’s influence expanded thanks to that book, his first.

He spoke at conferences, gave radio and television interviews, and proselytized about the problems of dating and the benefits of courtship, cementing his reputation as a relationships expert A lot has changed since his meteoric rise.

Over the last 20 years, Harris has moved away from home, gotten married, had kids, and, finally, enrolled in a formal school setting. In an interview with NPR this July, Harris explains that a wake of personal testimonies about his books has caused him to reevaluate his argument and its influence.

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