Plays about online dating
After drinks at a Brooklyn bar, one of her more recent Ok Cupid matches, a white Jewish man, offered this: “He was like, ‘Oh yeah, my family would never approve of you.’ ” Curtis explains, “Yeah, because I’m black.”Curtis also describes meeting another white man on Tinder, who brought the weight of damaging racial stereotypes to their date.
“He was like, ‘Oh, so we have to bring the hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you! “It made me feel like I wasn’t enough, who I am wasn’t what he expected and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race.”Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others?
For now, her strategy is to keep a casual attitude about her romantic life.“If I don’t take it seriously then, I don’t have to be disappointed when it doesn’t when it doesn’t go well,” she says.
Jason is out of the dating game entirely because he ended up finding his current partner, who is white, on an app two years ago.
Rudder wrote that user data showed most men on the site rated black women as less attractive than women of other races and ethnicities.
Similarly, Asian men fell at the bottom of the preference list for most women.
“It really hurt my self-esteem.”Jason is earning his Ph. with a goal of helping people with mental health needs.
NPR is not using his last name to protect his privacy and that of the clients he works with in his internship.
While the data focused on straight users, Jason says he could relate.“When I read that, it was a sort of like, ‘Duh! “It was like an unfulfilled validation, if that makes sense.
Like, yeah, I was right, but it feels s**** that I was right.”‘Least desirable’The 2014 Ok Cupid data resonated so much with 28-year-old Ari Curtis that she used it as the basis of her blog, Least Desirable, about dating as a black woman.“My goal,” she wrote, “is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating, and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love.”Curtis works in marketing in New York City and says while she loves how open-minded most people in the city are, she didn’t always find that quality in dates she started meeting online.
”Hobley says the site made changes over the years to encourage users to focus less on potential mates’ demographics and appearance and more on what she calls “psychographics.”“Psychographics are things like what you’re interested in, what moves you, what your passions are,” Hobley says.
She also points to a recent study by international researchers that found a rise in interracial marriages in the U. over the last 20 years has also coincided with the rise of online dating.“If dating apps can actually play a role in in groups and people getting together [who] otherwise might not, that’s really, really exciting,” Hobley says.‘Everyone deserves love’Curtis says she’s still conflicted about her own preferences and whether she’ll continue to use dating apps.
He credits part of his success with making bold statements about his values in his profile.“I had said something, like, really obnoxious looking back on it now,” he says with a laugh.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating