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“When a young person doesn’t feel immediate chemistry, the likelihood of a second date is lower than it’s ever been,” said Tai Mendenhall, an associate professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota.
“Chemistry absolutely can grow over time, but in this fast-paced culture we are in, and with the availability of potential partners, it’s the exception to the rule,” he said.
One in 10 Americans — and a total of 91 million people in the world — are now looking for love online.
With that many people at our fingertips, dating has become a game of quantity over quality.
To hear the Gray Lady tell it, we're all a bunch of shot-and-a-beer drinking hipsters who cluster around Uptown to sleep with our friends' exes in a desperate attempt to secure companionship before the inevitable nine-month winter snow-in."You want to fall in love in winter," said Hayley Lindma, a 23-year-old artist who was with three friends at Mort's, as everyone calls it, surrounded by dartboards, Big Buck Hunter games and a jukebox.
When it's cold, she said, "You want to stay home and cuddle and watch movies and eat food and be with your pets."While their counterparts in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, or the Silverlake neighborhood of Los Angeles are defined (and derided) for their blasé pose, their Twin Cities brothers and sisters, while blessed with the same clunky glasses, working-class-chic attire and fixed-gear bikes, retain the openness and generosity of the region.
Neurotransmitters like phenylethylamine (the “love drug”) and oxytocin are released when we meet a special someone, so it’s understandable that so many first dates turn out to be last dates if there’s no immediate spark.
This is especially true of millennials, who often get labeled as the “Instant Gratification Generation.” The Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project found that the hyper-connected lives of people age 35 and under lead to a lack of patience.
But other, less transparent missteps can be just as damaging.
Set up for disappointment David Konopacz is fed up with online dating, saying he often feels he’s been duped once he meets a woman face-to-face. Paul luxury car salesman admits that the “thrill of the chase” usually ends in disappointment.
Princeton psychologists found that strangers form impressions within a tenth of a second of seeing our face. As for Konopacz, he’s hopeful he can keep his expectations in check when he joins a singles golf league he found on
Chemistry on demand If you’ve experienced the feeling of being swept off your feet, you may count yourself among the lucky ones. Once you’ve experienced the euphoria of love at first sight, you may launch yourself on a mission to find it again. A recent neuroscience study on love found that the euphoric “love at first sight” feeling has the same addictive impact as cocaine.
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