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And if Tom also knows Susan, Heather, and Kimberly . In fact, our close social networks have shrunk by almost a third since 1985.

But it's not just the friend famine that's starving our sex lives. "In a tightly knit group, you know the same people," says Parks.

These types of people are essentially network bridges, says Parks.

showed that women consider altruism more important in a mate than men do.

To show your selfless stuff , try joining a Meetup volunteer group (volunteerism.meetup.com).

Try this: Split the cost of an extra package with your friends, and then take turns inviting someone new.

It'll expand your weak ties, and the presence of friends creates a "celebrity effect" that can be as desirable as attractiveness or wealth.

It's in their heads that these bars and clubs are "teeming with anonymous females who are dying to have sex with any guy who is confident enough to talk to them." The reality is that less than 6 percent of women report having had sex with their partners within 2 days or less of meeting them, and less than 20 percent of adults say they first met their most recent sexual partner in a bar.

Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience.Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game.In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.The saddest thing you will ever see in a bar is the lights on at closing time. Perhaps it's the nasty stigma of nightlife: A survey of 1,034 women by Strategy One, a market research agency, reveals that nearly one in four women would be embarrassed to admit that she met a mate in a bar.It's the moment you realize that although you've been bankrolling her martinis since midnight, she won't be going home with you. (But just incase you take home the girl of your dreams this weekend, make sure you know how to blow her mind in bed.)So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist?Forget the pickup lines and rely on the new rules of attraction. Rule 1: Build Your Romantic Network You're 227 percent more likely to meet a potential girlfriend through a friend or family member rather than in a bar, at the gym, or on the street. In other words, more friends means more female referrals. The potential is there, but the problem is that most men's social networks are too small or too stale to be effective.

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