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The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.

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Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.

His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.

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Instead, defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.

The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love life.

If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.

He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.

Too many pieces for stability what you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.

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