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Meanwhile, you, as the HIV-positive person, can lower your viral load to undetectable levels, and you’re doubly safe. Most states have stopped requiring blood tests for couples getting married.

Health experts warn that Pr EP should not be the first line of defense against HIV infection, instead recommending regular condom use as well. Many states do require that anyone applying for a marriage license be offered an HIV test or information on HIV, but no state requires a premarital HIV test.

Some sites, such as HIVNet.com, began as community sites in the ’90s and grew into dating sites as more members joined; that kind of start offers a sort of friendly, self-policing (no spam! Plenty of sites specific to other parts of your identity make disclosing your status easy.

This is fiercely debated in some circles, so talk with your doctor for her recommendation. If it breaks before ejaculation, have him pull out and put on a new condom.

If it breaks after ejaculation, pull out slowly and carefully, then go take a nice soapy shower or bath.

But, says Alex Garner, a program coordinator at the National Minority AIDS Council, “So many people are still confused and conflicted by [reinfection info].

If it happens it probably happens in the first couple of years of infection, and after that it’s rare.”That’s one reason that if your viral load is undetectable in each of you, some doctors now say that you do not need to use condoms, because an undetectable viral load means you cannot pass along HIV—whether your sex partner is positive or not.

Just remember, there’s no shame in having HIV and being honest with a prospective date about it.

If he or she balks, that’s just not the right person for you.

But if this is your spouse, partner, long-term main squeeze, or someone you plan to be in a serious relationship with, it’s time to talk pre-exposure prophylaxis.

In a nutshell, “pre-exposure prophylaxis,” or Pr EP, is basically the concept of giving an antiretroviral medication to HIV-negative women and men to keep them from contracting HIV.

Research has shown anti-HIV drugs can reduce the risk of HIV infection in the negative partners of serodiscordant heterosexual couples and gay male couples.

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