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I'm six years her senior, which put us in our early and late-30s when we divorced.

There’s some physiological rationales behind that thinking.

[Breakups] can jeopardize one’s health.” This description rings true to me: After the breakup, I felt physically ill, exhausted, and devastated.

“Whereas emotionally it can be quite a big deal, and [breakups] can be a risk factor for depression, which is no clinical condition to take lightly.

There is a real analogy of the, quote, broken heart.

But in the end, we managed to muscle our way into an amicable divorce without the residual, tired clichés of ripped bandages and gaping emotional wounds.

It sounds like the logline to a sitcom pilot, but it works.

(Full disclosure: I chose not to attend their later, grander celebration in Taos.) An attorney friend was particularly astonished because hers was the definition of an ugly divorce totally lacking in civility. It also helps that we genuinely appreciate each other's company. We have always been simpatico intellectually, culturally, and artistically, which is foundational for how we interact today. For his part, my ex-wife’s new husband helps the kids with homework and has become a proud stepdad, a gig he'd never anticipated holding at his age on top of his other titles as well-regarded systems engineer and homeowner under the age of 30. All five of us traveled to Disneyland last Christmas and it was bananas how well the whole vacation worked.

In couples therapy, we learned some great rules of engagement: 1. We’re also very proud of our children, whose broadminded outlook reflects their multicultural heritage. Years ago, when we sat on our bed holding each other crying, realizing it was over once and for all, we were deeply saddened. We’ve eaten Mother’s Day brunches and attended Nor Cal weddings.

The purpose of my particular separation from my wife was moving on from a stuck place of old, persistent hurt related to me breaking her trust and our relationship never moving past it.

When things first got bad, we tried very hard to stay together -- the result of attachment issues left over from our respective childhoods.

I was elated, effervescent, convinced he was “the one.” Then all of a sudden, we were on the rocks.

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