10 rules to dating my daughter

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. I received this text anonymously in the winter of 1998.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. I really like the part about I have a shotgun, a shovel and five acres out back of the house.   Oh, here in North Idaho many practice the three S's:   You know, shoot, shovel and shut-up!

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. It's a rather universal language in many parts of the country!   We have the opportunity for them to go to an excellent private Christian school, they are really well rooted in the Lord, love our church youth group and youth pastor, and have a great peer group that polices their own ranks wonderfully.

Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.   I sincerely doubt that the three S's would need ever be discussed with anyone they would bring to the house...but just in case, I think it's really great psychology to be cleaning the 1911's or the 870's when their latest flame comes calling:   He'll either want to plan a mutual hunting trip, or he'll go packing!A reader recently shared that the original author was W. Bruce's original work can be viewed at Copyright 1998 W. Bruce has an outbound E-Mail list that you can subscribe to when visiting his Web-site.

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